Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Cohousing vs "traditional" self-managed community

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

> On Jun 14, 2025, at 9:19 AM, R Philip Dowds via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] 
> cohousing.org> wrote:
> 
> I think most or all cohousing communities like to characterize themselves as 
> having cheerful, optimistic and positive attitudes of inclusivity, tolerance 
> and empathy.  Much or most of the time, such characterizations are 
> justifiable and appropriate.
> 
> But for me, the *real* test of community is this:  How well (or poorly) does 
> the community handle (or ignore, or repress) values conflicts?  For example …

I totally agree. While it is meant positively I think it is death to a real 
discussion to begin with “First, let’s celebrate all the ways we appreciate 
each other and how many things we benefit from just because we live in 
cohousing." 

That sets things right off with avoidance. And consumes all the time set aside 
to discuss differences. Any energy that people came into the room with to 
resolve issues seeps away and people can’t wait to leave the room.

Sharon
—
Sharon Villines
Riderwood Village, Silver Spring MD