Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Double Standards

[Catherine Kehl (tylik]

On Wed, 1 Feb 1995, Dale B. Walker wrote:

> Example: what about more than 2 adults sharing a single housing unit - a
> triple or quad or for that matter 2 couples who choose to share a large
> unit for whatever reason.  How does this affect housing design?

Which, I will mention, is something I hear a lot of people bitching about 
in poly circles.  Small modern houses are all fine and good, but they 
don't fit most any kind of extended family.

> IMHO, many of the same desires that lead one to be interested in co-housing
> can also lead to a desire for multi-adult "families" regardless of what
> intimate relationships may exist between the adults.  The ability to share
> responsibilities and expenses for child rearing and just living between N>2
> adults is part of what we talk about both in terms of co-housing and
> polyamory.  And there are social forces that say that N=2.

I know someone mentioned that polyamory didn't seem to be the norm in 
co-housing, which does seem to be true.  On the other had, various kinds 
of co-operative, shared, jointly owned or what have you living situations 
has been something of the norm in many polyamorous circles.  I wouldn't 
be at all surprised to see more things spring up that look like 
co-housing.  It's a good model, and a people who can maintain a long-term 
poly relationship are probably already aquainted with some of the 
problems in setting up such a community.

Me, I like close-knit communities.  Much as I adore them, I wouldn't like 
living in a big house with my lovers, surrounded by a neighborhood of 
total strangers...  Ick!

                                Catherine