Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Cohousing vs intentional community

[Rob Sandelin (robsan]

I have received some interesting replies to my original post, 
including, as I sort of expected, some flames.  I appreciate that the 
flames were sent privately.  This is a nice way to keeping the overall 
list cordial yet allowing people with real passion to "yell" at each 
other privately.

One idea which  came from a personal flame but I want to share with 
everyone was the idea of evolution.   Perhaps groups start out with a 
focus on Capital improvements and a goal of community.  Then, after 
move in,  the real communication and interpersonal processing happens, 
slowly over time, to create the bonds of real community.  A nice 
gradual evolution from strangers to community.  This may represent the 
Cohousing ideal.

And then again, maybe the group never understood the  original goal of 
community, never really had that goal, or just accepts the same 
dysfunctional behaviors of competition, degradation, triangulation, 
power mongering etc. because those are all we know.  I sat in on a 
group once where the architect was exserting a total power trip on the 
group and no one in the group  seemed to care or really even be aware 
of it.  It is not uncommon for the very same driver-leaders who do so 
many of the important tasks  to be pretty competitive and since people 
are not aware of what a cooperative process is, they just go along.  Or 
maybe its just easier to get things done to let the leaders do their trip.

There are several EXCELLENT articles on this thread in the 
Spring/Summer 94 Issue of Communities Magazine which I highly highly 
recommend.  That is, if you dare.  Once you get an understanding of how 
some of these things work, it's like opening pandoras box, and all 
sorts of things can come tumbling out.  Maybe its better just not to 
deal with power trips, poor process, and communications issues and (and 
to quote my favorite flame) : just let the cry babies who get their 
feelings hurt  leave so the rest of us can get our capital improvements built.

Rob Sandelin
(Fanning the fires?)