Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: How do you build a group?

[Rob Sandelin (robsan]

Bob trachtenberg asked how do you build a group. Here is a limited 
reply, there's lots more.

1. How do you build a group?
One way successful communities have built their groups is to create a 
vision or mission statement which outlines what it is you want to do, 
and any major values you might hold such as environmental, religous or 
otherwise and have every prospective member read and agree before 
joining the group.  See the book, Builders of the dawn,  for more information.

2. What sort of activities help build a group beside business
meetings?

Hold non-business get togethers and tell your stories.  Who you are, 
what signficant events shaped your life, where you grew up, your 
family, where you went to school and what you studied, what your 
hobbies and interests are, Wat are your major values, what are your 
"hot buttons" - things which you immeadiately react strongly to, What 
are your experiences with working collaboratively.  After you share 
this in person, write this up a biographies, place them in a notebook 
so others can refer to it.

Get involved in each others lives. Take your kids out on field trips 
together, start doing community dinners together, Help each other and 
ask each for help in your current lives. For example, if you need to 
paint your house before you sell it, ask for help from the community 
for a weekend paint party.  Call each other up and invite one another 
over for dinner.  If you find out that 5 of you enjoy fishing, plan a 
fishing trip.  You get the idea.


3. What kind of thisngs do you build into meetings that allow people
to get to know each other better (specifics please)?

At Sharingwood we a communications committee which is tasked, among 
other things, to create an opening and a closing activity for each 
general meeting.  We have opening meetings with: Singing our names, 
assembling together on a large imaginary map of the US by where we were 
born, Doing a stand up routine where a series of questions is asked and 
you stand up if they apply to you. For example: Stand up if you watch 
T.V more than 4 hours a month. Stand up if when you are hungery you get 
kind of grouchy, stand up if you have parents that are still living, 
etc., Using pantomine to express how the last week of our lives went, 
just answering one question about ourselves (limit to one minute), 
checking in about how I feel at this very moment in five words or less.


4. What written resources are available to help us with all this? I
saw nothing in the book that was useful.

I reccomend the 1995 Cohousing Resource Guide, Available APril 15th or 
so for $10 (US) from Rob Sandelin  22020 East Lost Lake Rd. Snohomish, 
WA 98290. It also has a bibliography of useful and relevent books and 
magazines.  The 1994 edition is available on the cohousing web site. 
Email me for specific details.

Communities Magazine often has good articles in  it relative to this 
and there is also the Cohousing Journal which is specific to cohousing.

5. Are 3 meetings really enough to get to know someone? If not, are
there other suggestions for candidacy or associate membership?

Depends on what you do at those 3 meetings.  From my 5 years of 
experience at the Sharingwood Cohousing Community most prospective 
members put a lot of energy into talking with as many of the current 
members as they can before they invest any real money.  Usually this is 
sign that they are real prospects and want to know who these people are 
who they are joining.

We are a brand new group. Our task right now is to find other
committed members. We are not going to begin looking for a site until
we have at least 5 member units (as suggested in the literature we
have seen).

I have a 4 page orientation for new groups which includes important 
first steps, and  new member survey which I will send to you, or 
anyone, who sends me a SASE.  I would not advise you to work on 
acquiring a site until you have a decision making and conflict 
resolution structure firmly in place.

Rob Sandelin  22020 East Lost Lake Rd. Snohomish WA 98290
Sharingwood Cohousing
Puget Sound Cohousing Network