Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: What Makes community

[CNewlon (CNewlon]

> Far and away the best book I know that describes this is Scott Peck's A
> Different Drum which I urge upon everyone who has any interest in
community. 

I also highly recommend this book and think that it has some very good
insights in relation to this discussion.  His insights into the attributes of
community and the phases are particularly valuable (and there are a lot of
good stories). The phases that he says a community goes through (I can't
remember the exact names but maybe you can help me, Jared) are:
1) False community: At first, everyone acts as if they are in complete
harmony. Areas of conflict are glossed over and ignored. They believe that the
y are a community but this perception is false.  They are concentrating on
outward similarities ("we all like body piercing").
2) Conflict: The underlying conflicts come to the surface.  Often, the people
that surface these areas of disharmony are attacked for breaking the
community spirit.  People try to change each other to conform to their
perspectives in order to "regain" their "lost" sense of community. 
3) Chaos: The group teeters on dissolution.  It breaks into warring camps.
 Lots of frustration that others won't change.  The faciliator and leaders
particularly come under attack.
4) Community: The frustration leads to an acceptance of others for how they ar
e and a true accomodation of differences and perspectives.  Bonding occurs
based on an honest perception of each other.

The book explains these a lot better.  A group can be stuck at any of these
three phases and may dissolve.  It strikes me that cohousing sets up some of
the necessary conditions for true community to occur but is by no means is
sufficient.  People need to interact in meaningful ways in order for there to
be a chance for community to occur (committees, group meals, casual
interaction, etc.).  The consensus process, when properly worked, greatly
assists a group in going through these phases.  The paradox here is that the
conflicting values and perspectives that seem to divide a group are the very
things that are the catalyst to move the group to a true sense of community. 

Chris