Cohousing-L Mailing List: What Makes community

[Jaredgel (Jaredgel]

I'd like to add a somewhat different perspective on community, which might
address some of why Rob at Sharingwood is hearing from a number of co-housing
groups that there is a lack of community at them. 
Community, in my mind, is never about structure. It is created by who we are
in relation to others. Some structures can facilitate that (as I believe
co-housing can) and some can impede it, as our typical atomized housing
patterns do, but no structure can create that sense of belonging, being seen
and valued that we crave.  The only way to create community is to do the
incredibly difficult work of being open and honest and sharing of who we
really are, apart from all the facades we present to the world and to
ourselves. 
Far and away the best book I know that describes this is Scott Peck's A
Different Drum which I urge upon everyone who has any interest in community. 
There is also an organization which sponsors workshops based on Peck's work
called the Foundation for Community Encouragement. There are lots of problems
with this organization, in my opinion, and they present worthwhile work.
Their address is incorrectly listed in the Different Drum, it is FCE 109
Danbury Rd. Suite 8 Ridgefield CT 06877 203-431-9484 I believe that someone
who has done a lot of work with FCE worked with one of the North Carolina
Co-housing groups. That would be another possible resource, if someone could
provide more info.

Jared