Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: A Model for the People-Side -knowing yourself

[Monty Berman (mberman]

On Mon, 26 Jun 1995, Rob Sandelin wrote:

> In regards to community building among people, I have found that one 
> key element which may be often given less attention than it merits, is 
> personal awareness.  A few questions to ask yourself :
> 
> How do I impact the group in a positive way? (behaviors)
> How do I impact the group in a negative way? (behaviors)
> How do I react to challenges to my ideas and values? (behaviors)
> What are my hot buttons?  What makes me instantly react?
> How do I react when my hot buttons get pushed  (behaviors)
> 
> How often and well do I admit when I am wrong?
> How often do I acknowledge my faults and weaknesses in front of others?
> How open am I really to hearing about values which oppose mine?
> How well do I communicate to others?
> 
> And of course the tag line question:  In what ways can I learn to 
> improve upon my weaknesses?
> 
> Rob Sandelin
> How do I impact this list with all my many many posts? Do I keep others 
> from responding?
> Sharingwood



        
To Rob et al,
        Re your sign-off question, I find myself usually reading  your many 
posts with interest. They invariably address important issues, and do so 
from a place of respect, experience, and wisdom.  This last is a good example
of your contributing an important insight, one that has not been 
previously made part of the community building discussion. I believe 
(strongly!) that self-awareness is the basis of authentic interpersonal 
communication, which then is the basis for authentic community.
        I also want to add to the couple of questions you posted re 
awareness of when one's own buttons get pushed and other "reactions." My 
work and involvement in the world is predominantly personal growth oriented,
and dealing with my "reactivity" is my current path.Our cohousing 
community has been a great place for me deal with what I want to master 
within myself. The many meetings, 
both full general mtgs. and the good number of committee mtgs, have provided 
ongoing challenges for this work. My reactivity, which is a problem for 
myself as well as other grp members, does not retreat easily.

Monty Berman, member of EcoVillage at Ithaca, which plans to break ground on 
Labaor Day (with national news coverage).