Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Coho: empty nesters, singles, single parents

[Rob Sandelin (robsan]

Kevin wrote:
>  I bet the reason other communities don't have many single parents is 
because it >costs too  much to get in. Also it takes a heck of a lot of 
meetings to set up a new >community, and single parents are often short 
on time.

One very large mistake I have seen repeated in forming groups is not 
giving proper support for parents in the start up and planning stage.  
If you want to encourage and promote your cohousing group as a place 
for kids, then you need to OFFER CHILDCARE so parents can attend.  You 
also need to retain a reasonable amount of flexability about 
participation demands.  I know one group which lost 3 out of 4 sets of 
parents in a two month period because the group did not allow parents 
any slack in terms of meeting partipation and provided no childcare.  
(They demanded BOTH parents attend all meetings- often which started 
early and lasted all day)

Parents of very small children are very very attracted to cohousing 
initially but then can get killed off by the partipation requirements.  
To pack up an infant and a three year old to make a 10am meeting start 
for all day meeting is a huge energy expenditure in itself.  In my 
opinion, it is a really smart idea to work to support each others 
needs, be flexable, and remember that not everyone cares about where 
the water pipes are buried or the plans for emergency vehicles.  Let 
people contribute energy as they can and will and be willing to spend 
some group money taking care of the community children.  Its worth it.

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood