Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Building Community

[Madeline Finch (mafinch]

Zev wrote:

>I would love to hear some discussion about the presentations, the networking,
>the food, the tours, the resource room, the tone of the time we spend
>together, the new connections which were made, the new insights which were
>gained.

Well, Zev, since you asked, I just happen to have some comments on the
conference that I've been thinking about sharing, and it seems that this
would be the time and place to do so.

I went to the conference as a complete "outsider" -- I didn't know a soul,
knew very little about cohousing, and wasn't really sure what I would get
out of the conference.  I went with the desire to find out if cohousing
would be something I would choose to pursue on a more serious basis --
either in the form of finding an already-established community, or perhaps
by starting a community where I currently live.

I left the conference feeling much more certain that I would eventually (in
the next couple of years) like to live in a cohousing community, and that I
would probably end up buying into an established community as opposed to
forming a new one.  This decision was partly based on the sessions I
attended, as well as the Nyland tour -- it's hard to describe my feelings,
but I had a real sense of "rightness" about cohousing during much of my
time at the conference.

On the other, less positive hand, though, I came away from the conference
feeling that the cohousing community is a great deal more hierarchical than
I had envisioned it would be.  As I said, I went without knowing anyone
and, while I met some really wonderful people with whom I became fast
friends, I felt that there could have been much greater effort made in
general to include "newbies" in the conference. I understand that people
want to network with those who can provide them information and advice on
what they may be dealing with in their cohousing process, but I felt that
some of the socialization/networking that was happening was exclusionary,
and that since I wasn't one of the people "in the know," that I wasn't
worth talking to.  Or maybe I'm just paranoid!  ;-)

It just seems that a community such as cohousing -- one that is seeking to
expand, grow, and attract new members -- should be welcoming interested
newcomers with open arms.  And while I did get a great deal out of the
conference (including the dream to one day live at Nyland!), I would hope
to see this community be a bit more inclusive in the future.

Thanks for providing a forum where I can air these thoughts --

Madeline Finch

mafinch [at] databank.com
   madfinch [at] well.com
    madfinch [at] aol.com

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                   "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."  -- Emerson

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