Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Conflict Resolution

[Mac Thomson (ganesh]

> Mable Kinzie wrote:
> 
> We are developing our conflict resolution procedures, and are wondering
> what procedures cohousing groups follow when a member refuses to resolve a
> conflict.  What type of action is taken by your group?

I think that conflict resolution is one of the very most important aspects of 
any 
true community.  Every book I've read on community, from Scott Peck to Shaffer 
and 
Anundsen, discuss it at some length.  Whenever two or more people get together 
there 
will eventually be conflict.  How that conflict is resolved determines what 
type of 
relationship is present, and if that conflict is resolved with compassion, true 
community is present.

For conflict resolution to work, the parties involved must agree that the 
relationship is valuable to them and that they are willing to attempt to 
resolve the 
conflict compassionately in order to strengthen it.  If you don't have this 
agreement, the process is in deep trouble.  But if you do, you can simply 
remind the 
parties of what they have agreed to and encourage them to reflect on that and 
respect 
it.

We wrote up conflict resolution procedures which we really haven't used yet, 
but 
which I'd be happy to share with you.  Request via email (will arrive 
not-so-nicely 
formatted) or snail mail by sending me a SASE.

Mac Thomson
862 CR 503
Bayfield, CO   81122

-- 
           Mac Thomson                   San Juan Cohousing
           ganesh [at] rmi.net                Durango, Colorado

"If war is the violent resolution of conflict,
  then peace is not the absence of conflict, 
  but rather,
  the ability to resolve conflict without violence."
                         - C.T. Lawrence Butler