Cohousing-L Mailing List: What's the Consensus on Consensus?

[Diane Simpson (dqs]

In March of this year Shava Nerad wrote:
"I have seen a number of groups (proto-cohousing, collectives, boards of
directors of nonprofits) who have tried to operate under consensus without
having the time and energy (or sometimes facilities -- imagine a 9 person
board meeting on a conference call trying to work toward consensus!  It
cost over $1500, I think!!!!) to work thru all the groundwork of communications
necessary."

We have run into this problem in our own proto-cohousing group. We decided
to operate on a consensus-based system and now I am wondering what are the
minimum requirements for operating under this system. Do you have to have
regular group meetings to operate by consensus? If not, do you set up a
system whereby people communicate via fax or bulletin boards and get back
to one another within a certain agreed-upon period of time?

This problem arose because one of the members of this proto-group (namely,
me) decided it would be a great idea to have an outdoor barbecue in our
backyard and invite all of the people who have been so kind as to attend
our first two open meetings. We contacted one of the other proto-group
members and he said he wanted to discuss the idea with his wife before
agreeing to be involved in this event. We contacted the other proto-group
member and she said "Great idea! Go for it! Sorry I can't be there to help
you with it."

So, we changed the original date we were thinking of having this thing and
called both proto-members back. The first fellow did not respond for a
week, and the second proto-member again said "Great idea--sorry, can't be
there."

When proto-member number one finally returned my phone call he was angry at
me for having gone ahead and planned this event without his consensing on
it. He said we had agreed by consensus earlier in the year to only have
three events over the summer, and I was doing something that hadn't been
consensed upon. Futhermore, since my husband and I had  had concerns
earlier about something that he and his wife had been planning for the
August event, he said I was going against my own policy, which was a
consensus-based operation. I pointed out to him that when we had these
concerns we got in touch with him right away, we didn't wait a week to
call, but that didn't seem to matter.

So now that is why I dredged up the Shava Nerad quote. I went poking around
in my cohousing archives to see if there was anything in there about how
proto-groups operate with consensus. Is it possible to use this method if
we never get together to consense? Do any groups do long-distance
consensus? If so, how long do you allow members to respond? If there's only
three households in the group is that enough people to use consensus? If
someone does not respond do you assume they are blocking or that they are
standing aside? I'd appreciate references to reading materials about
consensus as well as any other advice that people can give.

                Thanks!

                          ----Diane:.(


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      @@@@              Diane Simpson  dqs [at] world.std.com
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