Cohousing-L Mailing List: Strategies to deal with a difficult member?

[MelaSilva (MelaSilva]

She demands, we give in.
We bend over backwards to accomodate her, yet she feels like a victim.

Many of you have seen this pattern in other intentional communities and
organizations.
 I know several organizations that disbanded because they could not deal with
the constant demands or energy draining problems caused by one individual. I
know of several intentional communities that lost many members, people just
moved away, because the community couldn't/wouldn't/didn't deal with the
LARGER issue.

HELP!! Surely there is some??!! 
Does anyone have any good ideas for resources, books, articles from
magazines, places on the WEB, etc, to offer us?

Thanks in advance.
Pam Silva
Southside Park, Sacramento