Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: cohousing and disabilities

[Rob Sandelin (Floriferous]

I would like to highlight a gem of wisdom from Merlin, just in case you missed 
it. Merlin said: A key element, I
believe, is that we give without expectations for the level of effort of
others.  The desire to help is nutured in an environment of acceptance
of whatever people are willing to contribute.  To do otherwise would no
doubt lead to friction.    


This statement of philosophy of involvement is very wise. Accept the help 
people can give, when they can give it and DON'T set up unreasonable or 
unrealistic expectations of other people. You can set them for yourself but as 
soon as you do so for other people you are heading towards guilt and 
resentment.

One thing I would add is to regularily celebrate the contributions people 
make. Three cheers for X!. Community is about giving, and nothing encourages 
giving more than to be recognized and appreciated. Even indirectly. For 
example, somebody appreciated the commonhouse lights, not knowing I did that. 
It made me feel good, even though they didn't, and may still not know, that I 
was the one who did it. So recognize the things that happen, and say thanks 
and hurray regularily.

Rob Sandelin
NICA, Sharingwood,
Cedar Village permaculture retreat center (forming)