Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Too close for comfort....maybe

[Lynn Nadeau (welcome]

I'd say the group which shared so intimately as to make a visitor squirm 
might have done better to have that sort of sharing circle among just 
those who were into that, or among those who already had some background 
on the individuals who were sharing. Probably not an ideal time for 
visitors.

On the other hand, it gives you some specifics to inquire about regarding 
that group: how DO they deal with those who wish to choose when and with 
whom they share intimate, intense emotions?

Certainly there are as many different group cultures as there are groups. 
At RoseWind we sometimes stand in a circle at the end of a meeting, kind 
of feels like a reminder that, despite various wrangles in the meeting, 
we are a Group. We may at that time share some acknowledgements, or some 
laughs, or just a kind of a conceptual group hug. 

Other times, we just stand around and socialize, or if it's a committee 
meeting, just leave and go on our way.

It builds community to acquire some group "rituals": ways that you 
acknowledge birthdays, or start a meeting, or celebrate something, or end 
a gathering. Some groups use singing. I love how much they seem to enjoy 
singing at Songaia. I wish we had some songs we sang together, but it 
hasn't happened, and it seems awkward to impose something like that. 

Not every group is "encounter" like, for sure. And when you are part of a 
group, you are part of who shapes that common culture, too -- at least 
you should be.

Lynn at RoseWind Cohousing, Port Townsend Washington
Baby birds, hawthorne trees in bloom, crimson clover in bloom, spinach 
(and sluglets) in the garden