Cohousing-L Mailing List: Children and Expectations

[Sharon Villines (SharonVillines]

I particularly liked Rob's discussion of setting expectations for children's
behavior in the common house.  I love children but I like to relate to them
and no one can relate to one who is running around screaming.  

When I was a child there were four of us in the family and we were given
very clear expectations about using "indoor" and "outdoor" voices and
behavior. If you wanted to yell and run around, you went outside. I
continued these standards with my children and found an unexpected benefit:
They were welcomed by people and in places when and where other children
were either tolerated or excluded. As a result, without the benefit of
cohousing (which I wish they had had), they had strong friendships with a
wide variety of people of all ages. They learned to relate to their
environment and behave appropriately whether it was yelling at Yankee
Stadium or having a conversation in a nice restaurant. 

Of course there was the time my two year old daughter jumped up to help the
waitress clear the tables in a white linen table cloth restaurant because
that was what was going on at the time, and my three year old son once
dressed up in his superman cape to go to the movies, but no one ever ran
when they saw them coming, or avoided dinner because they were there.

Sharon Villines, Moving to Florida July 29
Synergy Cohousing, Delray Beach, FL http://www.cohousing.net
Where 15 of 32 units are reserved.