Cohousing-L Mailing List: Reluctant Spouses

[Sharon Villines (SharonVillines]

I have never posted anything to any list (and I've been on several) that
received so many responses so quickly. My mail box was *immediately* filled!
The general gist of the messages was surprise because they were having
problems with wives. One person  said his meetings were still mostly men and
for a long time had only included one woman.

One very eligible bachelor offered to replace a husband.

Suggestions included the submission of reasons for cohousing written by a
man. It emphasized the practical aspects over the social. Resale values,
shared yardwork, better wood shop, and the excellent point that you have to
deal with neighbors anyway so why not deal with them in a structure over
which you have some control?

A person with counseling experience said go slow--you don't need couples who
have disagreements between themselves. She and others said explore their
concerns to find the objections and then you can address them.

It was helpful to get so many posts about groups where men were in the
majority. While we have male leaders with strong commitments to cohousing,
we are mostly women. This gives me fresh reason to help the one man who is
trying to figure out how to get the workshop built along with the
commonhouse instead of doing later, after everything else is done.

Thanks to everyone who sent messages--if I answered them all individually, I
would never get the agenda done for the meeting on Sunday,

Sharon Villines, Who has moved from Manhattan the movie set to Florida the
postcard.
Synergy Cohousing, Delray Beach, FL http://www.cohousing.net