Cohousing-L Mailing List: Communication Agreements

[Peter Scott (ps]

Here at WENCP we have Communication Agreements which are:

      1. We will use ?I? statements, and speak for ourselves, not others
      2. We will speak succinctly (short and to the point)
      3. We will take responsibility for owning and naming our own feelings

      4. We will respect others? rights to speak without interruption
      5. We undertake to respect each other?s privacy by not discussing
outside the
      group other people?s personal issues which may arise within the group
process
      6. We undertake to value and respect different contributions and
perspectives of
      all individuals
      7. We undertake to keep relationships within the group clear by
dealing with
      any problematic issues directly with the persons concerned.
      8. We recognise that we work best together when we remember to have
fun!

These are part of our constitutional documentation and part of our culture.

Of course in the odd occassional moments when we 'lose it'!  these *can* go
out the window :-)
However  my observation is that we tend to patch it up afterwards, and this
builds trust and healing.

On this point after a major group difficulty, we have had some wonderful
looking back evenings. One of our members got a *long* piece of card and we
all stuck little notes on it rebuilding the 'story', sharing and recalling,
filling in the missing pieces, learning for next time...she calls it the
'long story' its really cool.

--
Peter Scott
Waitakere Eco-Neighbourhood Cohousing Project
Auckland New Zealand
_______________________________________________________
WENCP website <http://www.cohousing.pl.net/>


(architect, project manager, and in-group coordinator all appointed and
chugging along at full speed)