Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: moving forward on the anger expression issue

[Sharon Villines (sharonvillines]

> It's occurred to me that it may be useful to have a group of trained people,
> let's call them ombudsmen, who others in the community can turn to when they
> feel angry, frustrated, offended.  (This could be helpful for those who tend
> to blow-up, also for those who have been distressed by blow-ups.)  Note:
> ombudsmen are not mediators or conflict resolvers. Ombudsmen would help
> concerned individuals explore all their options, whether to vent and feel
> heard, or to approach another who is bothering them and how best to do it,
> or decide to meet with a community mediator, etc.

One of my attractions to cohousing was the presence within the community of
people to which one can go with these issues. I think it helps enormously
not only to understand options and different points of view but history and
community practice. If a community has such a person or committee, it also
puts a person or committee in the flow of information so they understand
when an issue may be a whole community issue or  one that only concerns one
or two people.

There have been many times when I was being driven crazy by something and
squelched my feelings thinking I was the only one who noticed, only to find
out later that everyone was bothered.

Thanks for letting us know where you were with this--it was hard to keep
with the original issue.

Sharon.