Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: ROMANTICIZING COHOUSING

[Deb Smyre (dsmyre]

At 12:21 AM 10/25/1999 -0500, Eris Weaver wrote:
>
>I certainly would support your - or anyone's - right to decide what they
>will and won't live with in a community. I have to say, however, that I
>can't visualize how it might happen that a cohousing community would
>"officially" decide to support or NOT support it!  

        We're going back over ideas already discussed, but I will
        say that Rob had the best response to this earlier with
        regard to what community members "officially" support
        being the opposite of what they really feel and support in
        private.

>What if a couple who is
>already in the community decides to open their relationship?  Would you
>necessarily even know about it?  What if you did, say they moved a third
>lover into their house -- would you move out?  Could you legitimately expect
>them to move out because you don't approve of it?

        I have a problem going into all the unlimited "What If's?" of a
        particular situation.  I will state that I have not suggested
        asking anyone else to move out because I disapprove of their
        lifestyle.  I think if I'm uncomfortable, it's time for me to move
        out; and my point, in fact, was that I would not choose to move
        into a community that already supported polyamory.  I'd 
        appreciate it a great deal if we would stick to what's actually
        been said, and resist the urge to project or put words between
        lines.  

        Deb