Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Screeing Backgrounds of New People

I've never heard of anyone doing this, and I think it's a bad idea, not to
mention paranoid. You are trying to build a community of trust. Does this
further your goal?

There is always danger in life; you can't legislate it away. My philosophy
is to allow children to use their own good judgement in dealing with people.
If allowed to trust themselves, they learn who is trustworthy. I think
children get in trouble when adults "teach" them how to behave with adults
by forcing them to show affection when they dislike someone-,"Kiss Aunt Mary
goodbye, that's a good boy". We also show them that their judgement is no
good when we tell them not to talk to strangers. When will they learn who
they should trust if they never talk to anyone? Besides, almost all sexual
abuse comes from within the family or close friends anyway. We have to
enable our children to trust their instincts and allow them to say "NO" when
they don't want physical contact. If they can trust you not to invade their
bodies or allow others to, then they will come to you when something is not
right. Kids who are self assured are safer kids.

----------
Liz Stevenson
Southside Park Cohousing
Sacramento, CA
>From: "Victoria" <victoria [at] trillium-hollow.org>
>To: Multiple recipients of list <cohousing-l [at] freedom2.mtn.org>
>Subject: Screeing Backgrounds of New People
>Date: Wed, Nov 17, 1999, 3:20 AM
>

> This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
>
> ------=_NextPart_000_000A_01BF3066.F527FFE0
> Content-Type: text/plain;
>  charset="iso-8859-1"
> Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
>
> Dear All,
>
> We are doing some revamping of how we give and receive information from =
> and to new people who are interested in joining our community.  A couple =
> of people seem intent on screening new people for felonies, especially =
> for child abuse.  I personally feel uncomfortable about this.  First of =
> all, I figure we should all screen ourselves if we are going to do this, =
> which feels funny.  Secondly, I feel it will give a false sense of =
> security about those with no convictions.  But, I do consider myself a =
> child advocate and certainly want our kids to be safe.
>
> What do others do and think about this?
>
> Vicky Leary
> Trillium Hollow
> Portland, Oregon
>
> ------=_NextPart_000_000A_01BF3066.F527FFE0
> Content-Type: text/html;
>  charset="iso-8859-1"
> Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
>
> <!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
> <HTML><HEAD>
> <META content=3D"text/html; charset=3Diso-8859-1" =
> http-equiv=3DContent-Type>
> <META content=3D"MSHTML 5.00.2614.3500" name=3DGENERATOR>
> <STYLE></STYLE>
> </HEAD>
> <BODY bgColor=3D#ffffff>
> <DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Dear All,</FONT></DIV>
> <DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
> <DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>We are doing some revamping of how we =
> give and=20
> receive information from and to new people who are interested in joining =
> our=20
> community.&nbsp; A couple of people seem intent on screening new people =
> for=20
> felonies, especially for child abuse.&nbsp; I personally feel =
> uncomfortable=20
> about this.&nbsp; First of all, I figure we should all screen ourselves =
> if we=20
> are going to do this, which feels funny.&nbsp; Secondly, I feel it will =
> give a=20
> false sense of security about those with no convictions.&nbsp; But, I do =
>
> consider myself a child advocate and certainly want our kids to be=20
> safe.</FONT></DIV>
> <DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
> <DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>What do others do and think about=20
> this?</FONT></DIV>
> <DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
> <DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Vicky Leary</FONT></DIV>
> <DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Trillium Hollow</FONT></DIV>
> <DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>Portland, =
> Oregon</FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>
>
> ------=_NextPart_000_000A_01BF3066.F527FFE0--
>
> 

Re: Screeing Backgrounds of New People	<– Date –> <– Thread –>
From: Bitner/Stevenson (lilbertearthlink.net)
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 08:49:07 -0700 (MST)