Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Respects and Responsibilities

[Gretchen Westlight (gren]

On Fri, 21 Jan 2000 Patty Mara Gourley of Tierra Nueva wrote:

> Dear List,
> Three requests have been sent to me from the list for the article I mentioned 
> from Communities Magazine. 

Well, I was going to be a fourth, but I'll send along my address
privately.  Thanks for letting us know. :-)

[big snip]

> One member's comment really made deep sense to me...he suggested that the 
> document itself, the end product, is not really the most important 
> thing...rather, the process by which it is created is the nourishing nugget.  
> The journey getting there, in other words, is what will build community bonds 
> and thus influences how we behave around one another.  

So true, but I do appreciate shortcuts and starting points!  (There's got
to be *some* balance between reinventing the wheel and learning from
others' experience.) 

For our discussions on children in community here in Cascadia, I developed
a list of thought-provoking quotes, mostly culled from members themselves
and an issue of _Communities_ magazine (I think) that focussed on
children.  If anyone is interested in the whole list of quotations
(nothing is credited), I'd be happy to send it along -- please drop me a
line privately (more than 5 requests and it comes to the list ;-).  In the
meantime, for those who want a jump start, here is a set of guidelines
that I'm particularly fond of from the _Communities_ issue: 

----------
        The following guidelines are offered as a starting point for
discussion about values and expectations regarding children in community.

                        Guidelines for Adults

        If a child in our community behaves in my presence in a way that I
perceive as inappropriate or dangerous and I lovingly intervene, our
community family is strengthened.  I, therefore, strive to demonstrate
personal responsibility for the children in my community by: 

        * my own positive example,
        * upholding the following children's guidelines with justice and
                integrity,
        * but without violence or verbal abuse, and by
        * empowering others to do the same.

        In addition, I agree to supportively inform parents (and other
individuals when appropriate) when I have been involved in or have
witnessed a disturbing (or inspiring) incident with a child of theirs. 

                        Guidelines for Children

        Children are held accountable to:

        * respect others' property
        * abstain from intentional physical or emotional cruelty to
                others, and
        * be sensitive of their own and other's personal boundaries and
                safety.
----------

Gretchen Westlight
Cascadia Commons
Portland, Oregon, USA

--
gren [at] agora.rdrop.com                       http://www.ogi.edu/~gren/