Cohousing-L Mailing List: Much ado

[Grace Benjamin (grey_sea]

Hello everybody!

This affordability thread has been quite lively, and I'm moved to respond on
a few points.  But I'll try and make it quick.

Number one- some have commented that the original controversial post that
"stirred the pot" was insulting and patronizing- and the impression I
received was that the insulting tone was unwaranted.  Well, I looked back
through the archives, and the only time a few nuggets of good info come out
about issues such as diversity, affordability, and pretty much anything
hot-button is when somebody gets a little bit "nasty".  I just don't see
people getting motivated to speak up and share their insight, and viewpoint
unless they are also feeling defensive on some of these issues somehow.  Not
that I'm an advocate for rudeness; never!  What would my finishing school
teacher say!!  But rather that people really seem to blossom, and share
important things with each other, as soon as they either take a step, or get
gently nudged outside of their comfort zone.  This brings me to my second
point.

Number two- if you are serious about building something affordable- step
boldly outside your comfort zone.  Stepping outside your confort zone is not
any fun- it's uncomfortable.  So why do something uncomfortable?  Because of
the benefit it will get you.  (There's a lot to be said for enlightened
self-interest! ;o)  But stretching outside of your comfort zone, and doing
something more than making your life, and your children's lives comfy and
cushy, gets you something intangible and valuable.  It's like runner's (or
rower's for anybody who sculls out there) high, I can tell you how great the
high is all I want, but you won't know until you go out and run (or row)
five miles, hit the wall and work through it. So what would stepping outside
your comfort zone be in Cohousing?  Make the more expensive units expensive
enough to outright subsidize the affordable ones.  Find out how your group
can be considered as a developer for low/median income housing in your area.
Consider a different form of intentional community.  Which brings me to my
last point.

Number three- definitions.  CoHousing, Intentional Community, mission, goals
etc.
CoHousing is an intentional community on a really long, really wide
continuum of community types.  This habit of classifying communities with
different names along the continuum exists because it makes talking about a
particular place easier; not because creating a place is easier/better if we
make it match it with a particular name, and trim it to fit all
characteristics people have assigned to that name  (or maybe some people do,
do things in that way)  I would hazzard though, that if you stamp out (or
rather stamp people into) a community that matches predefined
characteristics, you're going to sacrifice a lot of community along the way.
For instance, there is a person who uses a wheelchair to get about that is
interested in joining your community, and would be a good fit for the group,
but really needs to be able to get a car up close to their home.  Do you
effectively deny access to this person because you're commited to the
concept of perimeter parking?  There is this idea that great art does not
obey the rules, but re-interprets them.  The same would seem to be true
here.

One last thing in this vein- CoHousing, by it's nature is something for the
middle and upper class to jump on, like bees to honey- but I think we get to
define it any way that we choose.  There is the nature of how things
develop, but those of us in the process of developing things get to have a
say in the direction that development takes.  No, we don't get to make the
lending rules, but we do get to decide what's important to us.  So while it
is very accurate that if affordabilty/ green construction became benchmarks
of the CoHousing mission, the CoHousing movement would likely fizzle;
that's a sad commentary.  How pathetic is it that if a movement becomes
directly associated with being socially responsible as opposed to being self
serving- it either fizzles or becomes perceived as a fringe?  It makes me
sad to think that being financially comfortable also makes you disinterested
in your social responsabilities as a human.

Thanks for reading my 2 cents worth!
Peace and blessings you everyone reading.

Grace