Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: Taming Noise

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

The cheapest  form of noise reduction is source control. It is noisy because
of the people and the way they talk and interact. I have been in Cathedrals
with very "live" rooms and  its quiet and pleasant. I once ate dinner with
200 people in a community center that was very pleasant, because the culture
of the people was 1. To have a moment of quiet before the meal to center
everyone and 2. The culture was to speak softly in the space so that others
might hear. Even the kids were quiet in this space. (If you don't think this
is possible, go to the library. Kids pick up the cultural expectations
pretty fast.)

Kids can make huge amounts of noise and ruckus at dinner if that is allowed.
It does not have to be, and I know of one community that 70% of the people
dropped out of dinner because of the kids behaviors at dinner before they
finally talked about it and worked it out. Kind of silly to wait that long.

People can control how much volume to use, but it takes a willing agreement
among the participants to do so, including the kids. Doing a centering at
the start of the meal is a simple ritual that often helps a great deal,
especially if during the centering a reminder on volume is given. I also
visited a place that had a small hand bell on each table. Whenever anyone
thought the volume was too loud they simply rang the hand bell. When I
visited, the hand bells were mostly decorations, my tablemates could not
recall the last time one had been rung, although they did remember a time of
adjustment where the bells were  rung frequently.

I have also eaten in places where the volume and ruckus was so loud I could
not hear the person across the table! This is behavioral, in most part
caused by kids running around being loud. I personally parent two of the
most active loudest girls in my community and they are not loud and active
at our family dinner table. So if I can get those two to eat in peace, there
is hope for a quiet meal in the commonhouse.

Rob Sandelin
Community Works!  www.ic.org/nica/cw1.htm