Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Holiday Celebrations, or lack of

[lilbert (lilbert]

Sometimes all it takes is a sign-up sheet to make it happen. We do that 
here, too.

The men here do alot of cleanup, after regular common house meals. But if it
is just a potluck, they never do. My guess is it's the difference between
recognized and unrecognized work.

To illustrate, I'll go off on a tangent here. My sister's husband always
helps clean up when his parents are visiting, but not when it is just the
family. He doesn't even notice he's doing it. I think this is a very real
male pattern of work, needing so much recognition. If many cohousers have
overcome this, more power to them. But my hunch is that alot of work gets
done very quietly by women that is not noticed by men.

--
Liz Stevenson
Southside Park Cohousing
Sacramento, California

----------
>From: MartyR707 [at] aol.com

> In a message dated 12/27/00 8:06:56 PM, Liz Stevenson writes:
>
>>I'd fall over in
>>a dead faint if I saw a man start to clean up after a potluck. Make it
>>a recognized chore, and at least the women who do it don't have to do other
>>chores on top of it.
>
> well, that's interesting.  I'd have to say that here, more clean-up is done
> by men - not all certainly, but I'd never say they don't pitch in
> wholeheartedly.  It's partly cuz some of them would rather do that than cook,
> but also cuz they are great guys when it comes to doing what needs to be done.
>
> The party planning - true - is done mostly by women, and I like the idea of
> institutionalizing it as a chore that gets equal recognition with other
> chores.  I am one that has stepped back from doing it due to lack of
> appreciation.  But it has also been good to see how the vacuum gets filled
> when you step back.  Our Christmas party this year was a very organic
> process.  One person did post some great sign-up sheets, but then without a
> committee or coordinator, people signed up and things got done and it was a
> GREAT party.  A really great party.
>
> Marty at Two Acre Wood
>