Cohousing-L Mailing List: Are we a party community only?

[March Twisdale (march]

Dear Coho List,

I just saw this post....didn't see the one it is responding to.  Here it is:

> I'm not trusting the idea that we should only play together and not work,
> unless we deem it "fun". Work has its own rewards that fun does not, and I
> believe going through experiences together makes work even more valuable.
> Accomplishing a task that is at least marginally unpleasant builds
> character, and I'm not afraid to say it! It's easy to have fun together,
but
> I'm not sure you can build community without at least some adversity. Our
> parents didn't give us chores because we couldn't afford a maid(well, mine
> couldn't, but you get my meaning). They gave them to us to instill a sense
> of responsibility to our family and to learn the reward of a job well
done.
>
> I think doing as much of the work as possible ourselves is important.
> Otherwise, it's just a very friendly condo with no depth of commitment.

I have to agree.  I have had misgivings about how our community has done
mostly two things....the community work of business meetings to get our
community built (work) and the exact opposite extreme of having parties.
The first is required to create the community, but it is very non-normal
life stuff.  And, parties are lots of fun, but they are also not the bulk of
most people's lives.  So, what I initially saw developing was a manic
community relationship of two non-normal-every-day activities.  When it
comes to integrating our community into every day activities, we have
started having Common Meals and we are working on some of our Sweat Equity
Projects.  I have to say that I find the Sweat Equity work much more
satisfying than the Common Meals!  Because, when we are working we are REAL.
When we are eating a "Common Meal" with people we really haven't begun to
know very well there is still a sense of artificiality and/or a sense of
playing at being a community we haven't yet become.

Just my perspective as we are entering our 8th month of living together at
Duwamish Cohousing.  AND construction is still not done so we are definately
a baby coho group.

Yours,
March