Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Maintaining Momentum

[Michael D (ohanamd]

> << - How do you maintain momentum when it seems like your goal is *so* far
> away?  :) >>
>
> Actually, you are already achieving one of your goals; building a group of
> neighbors/friends with whom you are coincidentally building a bunch of new
> houses.  Keep working on the "getting to know you" activities that others
> have mentioned- pot lucks, birthday celebrations, holidays, retreats, etc.
> Make the building of the houses just another community project (okay, a
> really big one).

Thanks, Roger.  It's good to find someone who agrees with me that community
is about people and relationships, not houses.

I second what Roger has written here.  If momentum is flagging, then I'd say
that people aren't being attentive to community and are only focusing on
housing.  Community is something that requires frequent ongoing attention to
build and maintain.  Until we all feel like extended family with each other,
we haven't completed the building phase of community.  Once we do, then we
still need to continue to maintain that (just as a blood family would).

Here are my suggestions of important phases for developing a cohousing
community:

1. Getting to know each other:  Includes the kinds of activities Roger
mentioned except retreats - pot-lucks, social events, holiday celebrations,
celebrating birthdays and anniversaries, sharing circles, etc.  These
activities continue in all phases.  (I think pot-lucks are valuable beyond
what's apparent to many people.  I suggest that the community continue to
have pot-lucks every week or 2 even after there is a community kitchen and
dining room.)

2. Commitment: Developing community agreements and guidelines, visioning,
developing a master plan for the land and buildings, deciding if we'll have
community businesses or projects (and planning them, if so), getting formal
spoken, written, and financial commitments from all members.  I think a
retreat is a great way to initiate this phase, and I think retreats at least
every 6 months are very helpful.

3. NeighborNet: While the housing is being built, the community continues
the activities of phases 1 and 2 and also builds a NeighborNet
(http://www.neighbornets.org).  We begin to function as the community that
we want to have when we're ready to move into our housing project.

4. Building of the community buildings: The community buildings are
constructed first and are used by the community while the private homes are
being built.  Phase 3 continues.

5. Building of the private homes.  Phase 3 continues but is more focused
around the community buildings.

6. Formal opening celebration: When some percentage of homes being built are
ready for move-in, we have a major celebration.

7. Continuing development: We continue with Phases 1, 2, and 3 activities
while we attract more community members and build more housing, as
necessary, according to the master plan.  We have a celebration every time a
new person, family, or other household moves in.

8. Maintaining the community: When the master plan building has been
completed, our focus shifts entirely to the activities of Phases 1, 2, and
3.  When someone leaves, we go back to Phase 7.

My (not yet final) definition of community: Any group of people who commit
themselves to become an extended family of choice by developing intimacy,
sharing, cooperation, support, mutual agreements, a shared vision, and some
shared intentions/goals and by doing their best to practice authentic
communication, heartful listening, openness, compassion, effective conflict
management, celebration, and mutual empowerment.  These people may, but
don't necessarily, live with or near each other.

Namaste,
Michael
Heart Song Community
Santa Fe, NM
ohanamd [at] earthlink.net

http://www.delphi.com/thisismylife/messages
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HeartSongCommunity
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheHeartoftheMatter
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/QuotationsforConsciousLiving
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AQuestionofIntimacy
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PrayersfromtheHeart


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