Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Re: rituals

[Berrins (Berrins]

Pathways is going through the rituals/holidays breaking-in period as well.  
Last year we had a few solstice celebrations but declined to sponser as a 
community anything overtly religous.  However, the solstice celebrations and 
even some of the non-secular celebrations began to be encroached by some 
spiritual-type rituals; chanting, thanks to the goddesses, and so on.  This 
irritated some folks, including some of those whose holidays were too 
controversial to get on the community list.   Additionally, some of those 
whose holidays were left off the list felt intimidated from going all out and 
holding their own celebrations because of strong feelings from others 
expressed against their holidays.

We eventually realized that some people were avoiding community events to 
avoid having to sit through someone else's ritual (you can count me as one of 
them- at our first year celebration I just went for a bike ride).  So this 
year, the community living committee decided to cut back on virtually all 
spritual-type rituals at community events.  This, however, only means at 
official Pathways sponsored and organized gatherings/events.  Folks are free 
to hold their own, including using the Common House for larger gatherings, 
and many no longer feel they need to avoid celebrating some holidays to avoid 
offending someone else.  I guess we'll see how this works out in the coming 
year. 

The reality is that there is a wide diversity in religious/spiritual beliefs 
in this community that make it impossible to accomodate everyone.   As a 
chiropractor, in practice management courses I was advised strongly to avoid 
taking about politics and religion with patients.  You never know what will 
push someone's buttons.  In community, we get the opportunity to find out 
what those buttons are, but push them and you'll sure get a reaction just the 
same.  

    Roger Berman
    Pathways Cohousing
    Northampton, MA

    Where, after over a year of planning, delays and meetings, the plaza in 
front of the Comon House is finally being built!!  
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