Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: May D'Marie (fwd)

[Fred H Olson (fholson]

Carol Braford, Culver Way Cohousing, St. Louis, MO     Braford [at] aol.com
is the author of the message below. 
It was posted by Fred the Cohousing-L list manager <fholson [at] cohousing.org> 
because the message included HTML ;      PLEASE do not post HTML, see
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Liz,

Thanks for the opportunity to share this.  Just last Saturday, we hosted a
reception for family and friends of our good friend, Gail Borden, who was
killed in an accident a couple weeks ago.  We held it at our house, which
is serving as our temporary common house.

The first thing we did when we got the news was to gather and share
stories.  As one person put it, Gail was the heart and soul of cohousing.  
He loved to sing, so we ended the evening by singing Row, row, row your
boat, one of his favorites.

A couple days later, we gathered at the Botanical Garden with members of
his family who live nearby, and our friend led a short service while we
stood in a circle under a big tree.  Coffee and more stories.

The next day, the Design Team called an impromptu meeting and designed a
memorial garden.  In the days that followed, my husband Tom, who was best
friends with Gail for over twenty years, built the structure for a
fountain that will be the centerpiece of the garden.  At his service on
Saturday, his kids and grandchildren all wrote notes and drew pictures on
it.  Another idea is to name our pedestrian way, Gail's Way.  We are also
making a scrapbook for the family.

For his memorial service, we invited our neighbors, who are honorary
associate members of our group, to provide the music.  A new friend also
played Native American flutes.  We helped the family plan the service,
which consisted almost exclusively of songs and stories, a fitting tribute
for our in-house storyteller.  Members of our group came here to cook and
decorate on Friday, and we ended the day Saturday with a common meal,
followed by singing around the piano.

Songs for the day that seemed particularly appropriate: Amazing Grace,
Swing Low Sweet Chariot, Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Let There Be Peace on
Earth.  Tom wrote an article on Gail that will be in next month's issue of
The Healthy Planet, and we sent a letter to the editor of the Post
Dispatch in response to an editorial on homelessness on the work Gail did
to turn around one of his workers.  The next day, several of us went to
see Harry Potter and out to dinner, not ready yet for a business meeting
and discussion of timelines.

I'm sure we'll come up with other ways to commemorate him in the coming
months.  His passing puts many of our petty issues in perspective and has
brought us together as a community at a whole new level.

Carol Braford 
Culver Way Cohousing
St. Louis, MO
Families and individuals enjoying shared responsibility
Creating a community that is vital, ecological and safe!
314-534-4780

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