Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: memorial services

[pattymara (pattymara]

At Tierra Nueva, our beloved Marya passed away during the construction
period.  She was climbing the hill to her house site, and stopped to rest
beside one of our avocado trees.  Within moments, she had a massive
coronary, and fell to the ground.  Paramedics were called, but she
slipped out fast and final.  

For her memorial, we all gathered, at dusk,  around the tree where she
died, each with a lit candle.  We offered anecdotes from her life about
her gifts to all of us, ...told stories, sang songs, remembered her humor
and wisdom.  This took some time.  Finally, we all blew out our candles
at the same time, as a symbol for her leaving the physical world.  In the
deep darkness that followed, we stood in silence.  Her spirit presence
was palpable.    We slowly walked away in ones and twos to gather again
at a neighbors for a party/wake.

The first year anniversary I put a pair of her purple shoes at the base
of the tree.  Her picture and her meditation bell are on all of our Day
of the Dead altars, with an ample offering of chocolate.  The second year
we made colorful prayer flags (12 x 12 inch pieces of cotton cloth, 4 or
five different colors) with  written memories of her, letters to her,
pictures from the little kids.  I sewed them to a long piece of thick
yarn, and string them up around the trees in our meditation garden, for
her "yardsiet"  (yearly remembrance of her passing.  This year was her
third anniversary, and we finished the memorial garden flagstone plaza,
made possible by a donation from her brother.  We had a dedication
ceremony, danced the elm dance and remembered her outloud again.  Marya
is very much present in our community life.

coheartedly,
Patty Mara Gourley
Tierra Nueva, where Solstice preparations include tissue paper lantern
making, a face painting scheduled for kids of all ages, a bonfire in the
garden and live music in the common house for dancing.
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