Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Simple reasons to appreciate cohousing

[Elizabeth Stevenson (tamgoddess]

> Ok,
> I have a few to add. We have just moved into our place. The last of the 32
> households moved in Dec. 22nd, so we are all in the middle of moving stress
> and
> life changes and holiday madness, yet, even in all this, it works.
 cut

> Terri Hupfer
> Pleasant Hill Cohousing
> Bay Area, California


I can't believe you're moved in. It was just a bunch of nice-looking wood
this summer...I'll be interested to know how the cooling tower works out.

I've been thinking about responding to this thread, but the truth is, I
don't know where to start. Many of the first few months of living here were
just like what everyone else is writing.

Let me share a few things about what it's like after over 8 years.

The overriding event of this year for us has been May's passing. We took
care of her in shifts, along with professional nurses, one of them the
mother of a resident, for critical times. With so many people doing this, it
never felt like a burden. People took turns coordinating her care, as well.
That was a big task, and our best people organizers handled it seamlessly.

After May died, my son and I went to see her. He got to say goodbye, and
witnessed death close up. My first look at death was my grandfather in a
casket. As you all know, it's very artificial and, I think, creepy, to see
them made up to look like they are sleeping. I'm glad Ben got to see the
real thing. She looked serene and more beautiful than ever.

This past holiday season was celebrated at length. Some years, it just gets
more attention than others. This year, it seemed important to share more
than ever. My daughter made up a new Chanukah song on the spot, sung to the
tune of "O Tannenbaum". She has no stage fright whatsoever, and belted it
out at dinner. "Oh, Chanukah"-sure to be a classic.

I came to work one day at the end of the semester, and one of my tutors had
a picture of me at our CH Halloween party, in a godawful bright orange shirt
I wore for the occasion. Let's just say it's not my color. I had to threaten
him with many punishments before he would tell me where he got it. Turns out
he's also a security guard at the place where my next door neighbors work,
they were showing him pictures, and he recognized me. These kind of "small
world" events happen all the time when you're networked to 25 families. I
can't go anywhere in this small town of over 300,000 without running into
someone who knows someone...

One of our former residents came back for a visit today, with several of her
grandchildren. Her kids and mine ran around like a pack of friendly dogs,
ranging in age from 4 to 15. When she got here, I was in the CH, preparing
food for tomorrow's dinner. I came out to the alley and told her to get her
butt inside and help me with the cooking. She happily obliged, and we talked
for two hours while the home-made eggnog got cooked. She tells me every time
she comes to visit that coming back reminds her how much she misses living
here. I was sad to see her go this afternoon, but glad to know that even
though some people have left for their own important reasons, they remain
with us in spirit.

I once thought that I wouldn't be able to leave here, because I liked
cohousing so much. I sometimes kept track of developments around the country
in places I'd like to live, for possible future reference. But I have come
to the conclusion I couldn't just live in any cohousing. This one is my
home.

All the transitions that we make here are better for sharing them in
community.


-- 
Liz Stevenson
Southside Park Cohousing
Sacramento California
tamgoddess [at] attbi.com

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