Cohousing-L Mailing List: RE: Guy stuff? and odd couples

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

My wife is a garden maniac. I am not. For years I was recruited to attend
flower shows and nursery tours. Since living in Cohousing I have been freed
of this, as there are enough other garden  people that she can go with that
I can do something else. If your partner has some passion you do not share,
it is possible others will be able to share that. My wife and I have totally
different movie interests. I used to get reluctantly drug off to a movie I
did not want to see, we would argue about how great/terrible the movie was.
This too has gone away.

I had a fellow cohousing male tell me once that what he like best about
living in cohousing was that his very social and verbal wife had somebody
besides him to talk at. He could finally get some reading done. Since this
time I have seen this pattern a lot, quiet introverted men, who marry verbal
extroverted women. The extroverted women all find each other in the
commmonhouse and the introverted men are relieved.


Rob Sandelin
Who loves Star Wars and whose wife goes not


-----Original Message-----
From: cohousing-l-admin [at] cohousing.org
[mailto:cohousing-l-admin [at] cohousing.org]On Behalf Of Lynn Nadeau
Sent: Wednesday, June 05, 2002 2:10 PM
To: cohousing L
Subject: [C-L]_Guy stuff? and odd couples


 comments about what's
>great about living in cohousing from a guy's perspective

At RoseWind, the answer would probably be, "machines to play with!". The
guys like the riding mower and tractor so much it's all we can do to keep
them from mowing the fields to the ground. And at work parties they give
rides to rapt little boys, ensuring a new generation of mowers, perhaps.
They also get to use "ditch witch" trenching machines, tile cutters, and
other rented treats, on occasions.

I was surprised when several other groups commented that they had mostly
women doing the meal clean up: here it's a big guy-thing, maybe because
we have a spray table and professional blast-it-with-hot-water-and-soap
dishwashing machine: big handles to operate! big roar as it rinses!
colored lights to show it's on! Another man does major duty with our
built-in vacuum system, cleaning nearly all the floors in the place every
week. Roar! Buzz! Whoosh!

For those desiring quieter tasks, there's always barbeque grilling, with
a ready "audience" glad to pay to share in a fresh-grilled salmon or
such. And having a common house gives one so many more places to use a
Makita drill! (I have a handy neighbor I jokingly call upon whenever I
need something "screwed up" in the common house.)

Yup, I know this is a bit stereotyped, but some guys really do love it.
In fairness, I should say that a few are getting enthusiastic about
cooking, several volunteer with the little kids, and one keeps our front
hall in artistic flower arrangements. And some of our gals drive tractors
and wield power tools with confidence.

A general attraction of cohousing is that it provides well for ANY couple
with differing social styles and needs. The extrovert can socialize a
lot; the introvert can stay home in peace without having to get dragged
to social functions just so their partner has company. The meeting junkie
can attend the discussions and meetings; the hands-on type can weed the
path or clean the  common-house stove. A consequence of having dozens of
people around, is that people can do what they have an affinity for, in
the delegation of what needs to be attended to. I think that's really
what it's about, beyond the guys/gals thing.

Lynn Nadeau, RoseWind Cohousing, Port Townsend Washington
See our website for newly-posted pictures of the beautiful geodesic dome
house that just went up for sale here: designed and decorated by a
talented Danish artist. Keep following links to realtor site ("more on
this home" then "photo gallery"). A special place to have a look at, even
if you aren't looking to buy.
http://www.rosewind.org
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