Cohousing-L Mailing List: Moving kids finding a community

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

My advice is as you visit communities, pay attention to your kids. Many
folks at Sharingwood say that their kids are what decided them on our
particular community. In some cases the kids hooked in and then told their
parents: I don't want to go home...I have heard this from other communities
I have visited as well. But  of course, kids don't always gel right away
either. If your kids gel and find friends in the community, moving your life
will be very much easier. In fact, it will be very much different from any
move you have probably ever made because you will be moving to a place where
you know the people, and they know you.  But you will need to spend enough
time in a place for this to happen. It is nothing like the typical real
estate transactions where you buy a house and hope that the neighbors are
OK. In cohousing, you buy the neighbors,(relationships) and hope that the
home will work out.

At any given time there are several existing cohousing homes for sale around
the country. So part of your decision will be where do you want to live?
Another part will be, can I afford this? and another will be, is living in
this community going to work out for me? Community is an experiment and you
should give it a couple of years trial. The big advantage of private
ownership-bank mortgage models of community is that it is often not a
problem to sell your home  if you change your mind,  or find a better
situation down the road. But there is always that risk anywhere that you can
lose some money in the process. But cohousing is WAYYY more resalable than
many coops, communes and other community investments.

It not necessarily required to get involved with a new, just starting
community that is not yet built unless that is all there is available in
your location and moving to a different location is not  what you want to
do.

I would advise you visit a place several times in order to really understand
your fit. This is obviously a problem. We had some folks just move in here
who spent their vacation here, and another visit  over the summer. They
lived far away but took a great deal of time and expense to do this. They
just  celebrated their first month here and seem to fit in just fine. They
are glad they checked though, as a couple places they visited really were
different the second visit.

There is something to be said for visiting a reasonable number of
communities to help you clarify what your issues might be, what limitations
you have, and to get a handle of the reality of living in community.

Good luck on your community finding journey, if you get  up this way, come
visit.

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood Community, east of Seattle, WA
www.sharingwood.org

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