Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Fifty Plus Cohousing + ?

[racheli (racheli]

I wrote:
 
>> I guess it's very easy to see children as a form of
>> pests if one doesn't enjoy them.  I'm definitly in favor
>> of people who are hostile to children to go live
>> in their own ghettoized society/village/cohousing, whatever. 
>>  I don't think it's healthy for kids to encounter such hostility;  it
>> doesn't help the parents, and it sure isn't good for the people who store
>> up so much resentment over all the conveniences
>> they are missing on.

And Chris responded:
>it's not necessarily hostility, and that's kind of an adversarial term.
>as Sharon said--I've met plenty of people outside of cohousing who feel
>this way--one time around with kids can be enough for some people. they
>may enjoy children, but with the kids grown and out of the house, their
>lives are just in a different place now.

Me again:
Just because you met people out of cohousing who feel that way doesn't
prove that it isn't hostility...  Indeed, I agree with you that it isn't a
cohousing problem, it's a characteristic of American society at large. 
I'm sorry, BTW, That the term "hostility" bothers you, but  it's the term
which portrays accurately my perception.
When you say: "They may enjoy children, but... their lives are just in a 
different place now" - it sound to me like you're saying that in effect
these people used to like children, but they don't any more.

>I've met these people throughout my life, including as a child, and I've
>no scars from it. they were wonderful people with nothing against kids;
>but they weren't going to volunteer to babysit, either. :-)

I know a whole number of people who are very nice in some
ways, and who don't like kids.  I suppose I don't know what
"nothing against kids" means...  Again, if people don't *enjoy and benefit
from the company/presence* of children, I would
think that they should seek communities who don't have
any, or have very few.  

-----------------------------------------------------------
racheli [at] sonoracohousing.com
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