Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Consensus: late blocks

[Racheli Gai (racheli]

I fully agree with what Tree says below.  I would like to add that it
might be important to find out if there is something in the group process
which makes it hard for individuals
(or for some individuals) to come forth in a timely manner
with their objections/differing point of view.
Sometimes, when people don't feel it's safe to raise objections, they
might wait until it's "too late" - trying to get the nerve to do it.

R.


>Of course that is really frustrating, and it happens far too often.  I 
>think groups need to stand up to this behavior by setting clear
>intentions  ahead of time, and creating both rules and culture to support
>that  intention.  Over time a group can train itself so that this kind of
>trouble  does not happen.

>For example, some groups have a rule that if you did not attend meetings
>#1  & #2 on a topic, you cannot block or raise major concerns at meeting 
>#3.  (Of course for that to work, the group might have to be willing to 
>adjust the scheduling of meeting #1 or 2 so that a particular concerned 
>person can attend, and they have to keep track of who is present at every
> meeting.)

>On a cultural level, i'd expect members of the affected committee and
>other  concerned community members to go talk with the person one-on-one
>after  that meeting and express their frustration.  The dynamic i see
>over and  over again is that bad behavior continues because the affected
>parties vent  about it privately but do not approach the person doing it
>with feedback  often enough.  We are so scared of each other; telling
>someone that  something felt bad to you is a risk in vulnerability.

>Peace,

>--Tree



>-----------------------------------------------

>Tree Bressen
>1680 Walnut St.
>Eugene, OR 97403
>(541) 484-1156
>tree [at] ic.org
>http://www.treegroup.info

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-- 
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racheli [at] sonoracohousing.com (Racheli Gai)
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