Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Re: Behavior guidelines for Common House

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

We also had a discussion some years ago on this list about adult 
behavior in the commonhouse that involved displays of affection. In 
communities where the sexual orientations are quite mixed this can be 
an issue. While a household may be comfortable having a male homosexual 
couple as friends and neighbors or a newly engaged heterosexual couple 
proclaiming their "oneness," they may not feel the same way when that 
couple is kissing or hanging all over each other in the commonhouse in 
front of their teenagers.

The guideline that I finally was able to verbalize for myself is that 
behavior suitable to the commonhouse should be inclusive. Behavior that 
is exclusive should be conducted privately.

The level of kissing that is appropriate in the commonhouse is kissing 
that would not be objectionable if others joined in. A welcoming peck 
is fine in public, but a deep throated come on is not, regardless of 
who is doing it.

The same is true of sitting together. Everyone displays affection by 
hand holding, enfolding in arms, cozying up together on the sofa -- two 
people, three, or eight. But if two people (or three or eight) are 
engaging in a behavior that a third would not be welcome to join, it 
probably is not appropriate in the commonhouse  unless the time has 
been reserved exclusively for that purpose.

We do have a couple that will reserve the dining room to practice 
ballroom dancing, just the two of them. Some of those Latin dances 
would not pass muster in the street anywhere north of the Mexico 
border.

Sharon
-----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org