Cohousing-L Mailing List: Questions

[Princess Pepperonia of the Pizza People (roseames]

Experience over the past several years with two consensus-based  
organizations has made me interested in cohousing, but cautiously.   
If any of you have time to answer some questions, it'd be much  
appreciated.

1:  Ideologies

I've seen or could imagine ugly and pointless fights over shared  
meals, child-raising practices, how (and how often) meetings should  
be conducted, environmental vs. financial priorities, and shared  
labour.  It's tempting to get a group of very like-minded people; but  
I also see a danger of screening out great people over minor  
differences that could be accommodated.  Variety is the spice of life  
and all that.

Where have you found the balance between open-mindedness & diversity  
compared to unity and having common priorities?  Was your core group  
originally friends or did they find each other based on shared  
interests & ideas?  How much effort do you put into screening new  
members now?  Which differences are easier to accommodate, and which  
have you found to be divisive?

2:  Tragedy of the commons

Before looking up cohousing, I had envisioned a group of perhaps 5 or  
6 households.  Most of the groups I've found are much larger.  Is  
there respect for the common space (do people really clean up after  
themselves like they would at home)?  How do you schedule use,  
maintenance, and cleaning of the common spaces?  How do you deal with  
different perceptions of how much maintenance & cleanliness is  
necessary?  That last applies especially to kitchens and shared  
vehicles.

3:  Money

Did you all start out with 100k houses?  Good grief!  One of the  
advantages of cohousing could be financial; is there any way those of  
us who aren't rich can get in on the deal?  Does anyone have  
experience/suggestions starting a community on a much smaller  
budget?  I envision building & living in the common house while  
saving money to build (small) individual homes.  If we'd be likely to  
still be speaking to each other by then.

4:  Kids

A large part of my interest is in providing kids with a home  
environment while helping the stay-at-home parent stay sane.  Is  
child-care a community interest or mostly up to the parents?  What  
support (if any) does the community give stay-at-home parents and  
homeschoolers?  If child-care/schooling is partly a community job,  
how do you deal with different parenting/schooling ideologies?  Has  
anyone tried having kids sleep in dorms in the common house, kibbutz- 
style, and has it worked?

Thanks,
Rose