Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: queries during conflict

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Dec 22, 2005, at 3:39 PM, Stacia Leech and Gary kent wrote:

> "Dave, I understand that honouring
> agreements and integrity might be very important to you having worked 
> in
> the pharmaceuticals business for the past twenty years!"  As I read 
> this
> back it feels quiet presumptuous on the questioners part and might
> illicit a defensive response.

According to what I know of NVC, this is also a manipulative response 
because it both assumes and defines the person you are speaking to. 
It's better to address your own feelings rather than addressing the 
other person's feelings unless you are trying to clarify what the other 
person has actually said.

Sharon
--
Sharon Villines
Save Our Planet. It's the only one with chocolate.