Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: The shelf life of decisions

[Lia Olson (liajo]

Okay, I'm not in a Co-housing community, alas, but this whole thread  has been 
a fascinating one.  What occurs to me is that Co-housing  communities are, 
apparently, not static.   The agreements  that are codified may reflect the 
values of people that are not even  there anymore.  Not only that, with every 
new resisident, a new  'organism' representing the whole community is created 
and a   whole new investigations of rules might be in order.  After all,  the 
agreements are not reflections of eternal and absolute values, but  of the 
fallible agreements of current participants.  When the  participants change, 
the guidelines may well need revising.  
  
  Rather than sancitoning and punishing new members who don't relate to  the 
old rules, it might be worth opening discussion and considering  with real 
honesty and openess the possibility that revision might be in  order.  If it 
turns out that a specific rule protects members from  genuine harm, a new 
resident who participates in the discussion is  likely to be drawn in.  If it 
turns out that a rule refelects the  aesthetic sensitibilities of someone who 
is not present and a minority  who of those who are, it might be time to 
rethink what is really  important. We may not be able to distinguish between  
which rules  contribute to genuine community and which merely contribute to the 
tne  tyranny of those with historical power, but discussion might make us  more 
aware and sensitive.  
  
  I suspect that suspending the rush to point fingers and the commitment  to 
explore and investiatigate might results in authentic guidelines  that arise 
from wisdom rather than personal preference.
  
  Lia  

Rob Sandelin <floriferous [at] msn.com> wrote:   When a group makes a lot of 
decisions what can happen over time as new
people move in then some of the decisions get sort of buried in the past. My
own rule of thumb is that if an agreement does not get used for 3 years, it
is worth questioning whether you need it or not. Some agreements become moot
after you learn and experience things, so what you thought was an issue,
really never becomes one. After 5 years, an unused agreement certainly
should be reviewed since in almost all cohousing groups, 5 years represents
a huge amount of new people. Groups grow and change. It is silly to hold one
group of people to rules another group, many of whom no longer live amoung
you, created back in ancient history.  That is not to say that some
agreements do not stand the test of time, some do. But at your five year
community anniversary I suggest examing ALL your early agreements and spend
your fifth year re-engaging your intentions and desires around how you want
to live. Maybe every five years that is a good time frame to examine your
agreements.

I recall visiting a group who made an agreement about setting up their
kitchen to be vegan friendly, with a bunch of special requirements for food
prep. The one vegan, who apparantly insisting on this never actually moved
in, and only a couple people remembered the agreement, and clearly none of
the special food prep was being done. 

If, as a group, you are widely not aware of, or following your agreements,
clearly you have some work do to.

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood Community, Snohomish, WA
Naturalist, Writer
The Environmental Science School
http://www.nonprofitpages.com/nica/SVE.htm
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