Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Children's "policies"

[Dahako (Dahako]

Hi -
 
Mostly I agree with our esteemed colleague from the great wet west, Mr.  
Sandelin. 
 
I'd also recommend working with the actual kids you have prior to move in  to 
come up with a short (less than 1 page) list of critical  
rules/limits/permissions/policies.  Share it around the group, discuss a  
little, but don't adopt 
anything formally until well after you move in!
 
In my experience (mother of 2 raised-in-cohousing kids) and opinion,  the 
single most important thing to do before move-in is for the parents to give  
the 
non-parents permission to stop any child from any harmful or rude behavior  at 
any time and to send/take the child home, if necessary.  The corollary  is 
that parents need to make it clear to the kids that this permission has been  
given and they do so have to listen to other group members.
 
The non-parent and the parent can discuss why the non-parent thought the  
behavior was harmful or rude.  From these adult-child interactions, and the  
parents' and kids' experiences of them, rules for living together will mostly  
emerge on their own.  Any remaining sticky wickets can then be  discussed and 
policies created.
 
-Jessie Handforth Kome
Eastern Village Cohousing
Silver Spring, Maryland
"Where my kids have pretty much cornered the baby-sitting and  pet-sitting 
markets."