Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Anecdotes for Diana Christians new book

[Joani Blank (joani]

Hi Diana,

I applaud that your book is going to help people check out existing 
communities  in a way that expedites them getting the info they need 
without offending or exploiting current residents. And I hope that 
some cohousers have some useful anecdotes for you.

On the other hand, I frankly wish that in your posting you had not 
included the example of the nude people walking through "the 
house"  to the hot tub. I know that a few people in my current 
community who would have never even considered following through with 
their decision to join our cohousing group if they'd seen that 
anecdote in a posting on the cohousing listserve when they were early 
in their explorations, EVEN THOUGH  it's clear to me and others that 
the anecdote was NOT from a cohousing community.

As you know, try as we might, it is not always easy for a community 
to be clear about and promote its individual identity, all the while 
wanting to maintain brotherly and sisterly relations with other 
groups and feel a part of the broader communities movement. It is 
important to me,that our community maintain a strong and clear 
individual identity as a community. Next I want my neighbors here as 
a group to identify as  part of the cohousing movement. Finally,  I 
want us to feel a part of the broader communities movement. However, 
if I have only enough energy to support one or two of these 
identities, I'm going to choose the the first  of these identities 
first, and the second one second.

Many people attracted to cohousing, in particular, are more 
"mainstream"--with all of good and not-so-good qualities (depending 
on your perspective) that the term :mainstream" connotes.  They 
sometimes come to cohousing communities, not with a spirit of 
enthusiastic communitarianism, but with a good deal of fear and 
trepidation, especially about the potential loss of privacy, and 
about their inability to live in a much smaller "house" than the one 
they currently live in (or that they'd hoped to be moving up to).

Bringing these people along--and most of them end up being fine 
cohousing neighbors--requires a lot of firm but gentle reassurance, 
and I personally know of several who never would have joined the two 
communities I've lived in if there was so much as a circle before 
common dinner to thank the cooks and introduce guests--which, to my 
way of thinking, is about the lightest of the light in touchy-feely-dom.

Joani

This post is a response to Diana Christan's posting as follows (in part):

Date: Sat, 27 May 2006 13:35:06 -0400
From: Communities Magazine <christian_d1 [at] bellsouth.net>
Subject: [C-L]_ seeking anecdotes about new-member process for my book
To: Cohousing L Cohousing L <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>

Hello Cohousing-L readers,

        I'm in the final stages of writing a book about how to research,
visit, evaluate, and join communities. (It's called Finding the
Ecovillage or Sustainable Community of Your Dreams: A Field Guide.
Out next spring from New Society Publishers.)

        If you have any brief anecdotes about funny or great or delightful
or  disturbing things that happened in your cohousing community's new-
member process that you'd be willing to share, I'd love to hear them.
Or that happened to you when you were looking for a cohousing
community to join.......

Joani


Joani Blank
510-834-7399
Cell: 510-387-1315
joani [at] swansway.com