Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Guest Etiquette Question

[Stuart Joseph (stuart]

Cher,
I know what you mean about trying to save money, so here are some more 
suggestions for Private Houses:
Bring something to eat or for the house, like the bottle of Saki or some 
food to share. When we put up one of our members, they bring us 
something from NYC like bagels or pastries, they have also taken us out 
for a meal or paid for pizza.

When we take folks on tours, we don't expect anything for it, as that is 
how we will gain members.

Cher Stuewe-Portnoff wrote:
> ** sigh of relief ** Thank you, Liz. Our intention is always to participate
> in whatever work we can, to be courteous and responsible, and to pay our
> way; to make small donations to common house funds where it seems
> appropriate; but also not to reduce personal kindnesses to commercial
> transactions. I love Nina's approach, a win for everyone, but in truth, by
> the time we have funded our travel to and from communities we hope may be a
> good fit, we would be (and often are) camping out, conserving our meager
> funds for an eventual down payment some place. We also love
> bed-and-breakfast establishments -- but from afar :-). Other perspectives
> welcome!
>
> C.  
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: tamgoddess [at] comcast.net [mailto:tamgoddess [at] comcast.net] 
> Sent: Tuesday, October 24, 2006 6:31 PM
> To: Cohousing-L
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Guest Etiquette Question
>
> Oh, dear. A conundrum for sure. I've never received any compensation for
> giving tours, as I consider it a part of my duties to my community and my
> larger community of cohousers around the world. Once in awhile someone
> offers, and now I feel that I've been remiss in not accepting for my
> community's coffers! I may have to accept in the future. 
>
> We've hosted lots of people over the years, though we don't have a
> purpose-built guest room, and no set fees. We have had larger groups who
> slept in sleeping bags, etc., and I think small voluntary donations have
> been gratefully recieved, but were not expected.
>
> I would in no way be offended if someone offered nothing to stay in my
> house, though I haven't hosted many people over the years-mostly relatives
> of other cohousers in my community.
>
> I have gotten some gifts over the years, and those were really wonderful. I
> like when someone has taken the time to do that. A Japanese magazine writer
> gave me a bottle of sake, that was the best one.
>
> The only thing that has ever come close to offending me as a tour guide is
> someone not showing up when they say they are going to, or showing up
> without notice.
>
> Liz
>  -------------- Original message ----------------------
> From: <seniorcohousing [at] cox.net>
>   
> > ---- Cher Stuewe-Portnoff <cherworks01 [at] yahoo.com> wrote: 
> >
> >     
> > > There's probably not one right answer, but we could sure use a sense of
> > >       
> what
>   
> > > is generally considered good manners before we travel any farther :-).
> > > Thanks!
> > >
> > > Cher & Greg 
> > >       
> > My personal opinion, as a fellow guest: make a donation to the general
> >     
> cohousing 
>   
> > community fund equal to about what it would cost to stay at a nice B&B in
> >     
> the 
>   
> > neighborhood.
> >
> > I've only stayed at two communities, both times in guest quarters.  No one
> >     
> has 
>   
> > ever complained about my donation, and both times, I got a thanks from the
> >     
>
>   
> > financial committee.
> >
> > I also feel it's appropriate to make a donation if you've had a tour.
> >     
> After 
>   
> > all, someone has spent at least an hour, sometimes much more, to take you 
> > around.  My time is worth a lot.  I assume my tour director's time is
> >     
> worth a 
>   
> > lot, too.
> >
> > And, ahem, there is a side benefit.  Folks get to know your name if it's
> >     
> on a 
>   
> > check.  It's just human nature.  I've never run across a cohousing
> >     
> community 
>   
> > that couldn't use a little cash.  If you have it, share it.
> >
> > If you don't, though, you might want to offer some other thing of
> >     
> value--work 
>   
> > time, for example.  If you're an expert in something, offer a specific
> >     
> number of 
>   
> > hours of consultation in return for your visit.  It may be that no one
> >     
> will take 
>   
> > you up on it right away.  In fact, it may be years.  But surely part of
> >     
> the 
>   
> > cohousing movement is giving what you can when you can?
> >
> > Nina, Ocean State Cohousing, RI
> > _________________________________________________________________
> > Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: 
> > http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L/
> >
> >
> >     
>
> _________________________________________________________________
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>
>
>
>
>   

--
Stuart Joseph, 802-463-1954
Project Director
Caer Coburn, a traditional village based upon  and intentional communities
Rockingham, Vermont, USA
http://www.caercoburn.org