Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Filtering members in a forming community

[Racheli Gai (racheli]

Hi Nathan,
I don't think you need to apologize for anything.  You can ask away, 
and people
can choose whether to respond or not...  And I think the questions you 
asked
are good ones: Every group struggles with them.

I agree with Joani: If you come up with clear enough mission statement 
and
a set of goal (ie: clarifies your values, and put them out there), this 
would
act as the filter you need.
A crystal ball would be very useful too :) - but I don't know where to 
get one.

I grew up in Israel on a kibbutz (and visited there later on when I 
didn't reside
there any longer): I remember the kibbutz making great efforts to 
filter new
members, by having them live in the kibbutz for quite a while before 
voting
on whether to accept them as full members.  Even that system proved 
really
faulty.  Sometimes it's easy to spot that "something is wrong" with a 
person,
in a way which would interfere with good integration and functioning 
within
a community, but people are complex, and what might turn out in the long
run to be a huge problem isn't always evident until a group is way way 
down
the road.  It goes the other way too: People who are seemingly odd and 
don't
"fit" might prove wonderful given time and opportunity.
So, the short and the long of it is: Self selection based on clear 
principles
is probably as good as it gets.

BTW - for those who are interested: The latest issue of COMMUNITIES 
magazine
is about helping one's local economy thrive.  I recommend it!

Best,
Racheli (Sonora Cohousing, Tucson).


> On Jan 27, 2007, at 12:32 AM, nathan schomber wrote:
>
> >   Do I need to apologize? After reading your post, I was struck with
> > the realization that something I wrote in one of my posts must have
> > offended you though I’m not sure what it was.(Our posts started as
> > “Forming group, advice?” then became “Group Forming need advice”)
>
> I agree that Rob's post sounded harsh and a bit of a put down to a new
> kid on the block. From reading Rob for a long time, I assure you it
> wasn't personal.
>
> What he said was absolutely true but it takes a few years to see that.
> It's hard for some of us who have been reading this list for years (and
> years) and have watched many, many groups come and go, to keep
> responding to the same issues over and over. Sometimes we all get
> short, and Rob's  been doing this much longer than I have.
>
> Sharon
> -----
> Sharon Villines, Washington DC
> Where all roads lead to Casablanca
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