Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Insecurity in Cohousing

[Kay Argyle (kay.argyle]

> Why do you stay?  You sound miserable.

Recall that Norm said his wife loves living in the community.  It seems
reasonable to assume he wants her to be happy, even at some trouble to
himself.  Further, if Norm isn't particularly social, it may be easier for
her to let Norm be himself if she can get some needs for socializing met
through relationships with other people in the community - and that benefits
both of them.  

As a parallel, my roommate doesn't like working alone, and I'm the most
convenient person to recruit, or at least to keep her company. When she
finds someone else in the community willing to work on, say, cleaning out
the parking lot drains, that means I'm free to work - by myself :) - on my
own priorities, say, reducing the amount of bindweed smothering the herb
garden.  I suspect that, if we shared a house in a normal, isolating
suburban neighborhood, I would contrarily have less time alone, not more.

Kay