Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Cohousing as a crucible for values

[mrbouchez06 (mrbouchez06]

This is an interesting post  and ties into the discourse as  to whether 
certain topics belong on this list or not.  
I can understand the reluctance of some to get "off topic" and allow the  
list to turn into another on line free for all so perhaps there are threads  
where co-housing and communitarian types could talk about anything and what  
not.  
Just a thought. People not interested in certain topics could  just delete 
the ones they don't want, somewhat like turning down the radio or  leaving the 
room when a song or commercial you dislike comes on, but even  easier.   I hate 
to see anyone feel they have been "silenced" because  they didn't engage in 
the proper speech.  It makes people less willing to  take a chance on what they 
say.
 
Which brings me to the observation made by Rob  that  cohousing people tend 
to lean toward the more liberal side of the political  spectrum.  In my brief 
time of observing co-housing, I would believe that  is true but would also hope 
that perhaps there can be a multitude of co-housing  communities that appeal 
to multiple perspectives so that not only one sort of  people can find 
community amongst each other.  I ran in very conservative  circles at one time 
of my 
life and found myself repelled at a point by  the group speak that seemed to 
be evolving.  And yet, that same  sort of "my way or the highway" thinking can 
be found in a more  liberal-thinking, even a centrist thinking, group of 
people.   As  Ron pointed out, people from any angle can begin to think that 
only 
their values  are valid.  That's not restricted to any way of thinking.  
"Liberal"  thinkers may just come across more gentle :)  
 
Ahhh, perhaps the greatest thing about chronological aging is the  continuing 
education units you earn just by passing through.  
 
A peaceful and most joyful holiday season to all.
 
tricia 
 
 
In a message dated 12/16/2007 12:20:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,  
floriferous [at] msn.com writes:

As a  general trend I think it is safe to state that most people in  cohousing
would be more towards the liberal side of the political spectrum.  That is
certainly true of all the cohousing projects which I have  visited.
Cooperation is seen as a liberal, heck even radical activity and  it seems to
attract people who are more liberal. Cohousing is by design a  place where it
is easy to have conversations among neighbors, and news and  politics
certainly are talked about. From this ever ongoing conversation  participants
get the insight and reflection on the values of their  neighbors.  One of the
difficulties that emerges in this milieu is  when people want to insist that
their values become the stated values of  the group.  This is where things
like anti-war or environmental  activism can create conflict. It is often not
that the sentiment is  unsupported, rather it is the intensity of the actions
or feelings that  differ. 

It is my own personal observation that in my youth I fiercely  denounced
family and others who were living the "wrong way", and I used all  sorts of
judgmental words attached to their wrongness. I wanted to convert  them to
rightness and I annoyed them to no end for several years.  I  have been much
more satisfied in my life when I began applying my own  values only to me,
and stopped trying to apply them to others. My  expectations then are that
you are free to follow  and live to your  own values and you don't have to
live up to mine.  Granted, there are  extremes which I do not condone, but I
rarely ever encounter them. It is  true that I make choices with whom I hang
out with, largely based on  similarities in values but this is not exclusive
anymore.

As a  community you have this balance between personal values which can be
often  clearly defined and group values which are often not well defined.
This  balance often tugs back and forth in your decision making as a group
and  sometimes when things are stuck, dropping down to what is the value
being  expressed here might be useful.

Rob  Sandelin
Sharingwood
Snohomish County, WA   

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