Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Why I live in cohousing

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Jun 20, 2008, at 2:20 PM, pattymara [at] juno.com wrote:

> All of the comments I've read could be made about a thriving  
> neighborhood or town or extended family

But how many of them do? Yes, I've lived in condos where some of them  
do, but the biggest difference, I think, is that they happen pretty  
much immediately in cohousing -- not in 10 or 20 years of neighborhood  
contact and family connections. I

And in neighborhoods or condos, the interaction is spotty. Having 50%  
of the people on one block or one floor of a condo being neighborly  
would be the most you can expect. And without a commonhouse, many of  
the interactions could never take place.

Putnam in Bowling Alone discusses the importance of a group having  
boundaries. Boundaries are necessary for intimacy to develop. While  
the interactions can be found in neighborhoods and condos, I've never  
seen the same level of intimacy or the same pervasiveness as in  
cohousing. And it happens very quickly.

In cohousing the "rightness" of this intimacy is assumed.

We had new residents that I had known before they moved in and they  
had been asking me lots of questions about where to find what and how  
this is done. I was going away for a week and wanted to tell them who  
to go to with questions. I quickly realized they could go to anyone!  
That wouldn't be true in non-cohousing neighborhoods or condos.

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org