Cohousing-L Mailing List: Giving thanks...

[Craig Ragland (craigragland]

Does your cohousing community gather to give thanks every November? It
might be fun to hear about the similarities and differences from
different built communities. Or what you are doing with your forming
group? How about what you would like in your envisioned future
community?

At Songaia Cohousing, we have a tradition (of about 20 years now) of
celebrating some holidays together, but not others.

In a few hours, about 60 people will start gathering (about double the
attendance of our typical common meals). Folks will consist of most of
our families and some extended family and non-resident friends. Other
Songaians are off celebrating elsewhere or will have quiet family time
on-site. The big event starts at 1pm with a prepared program - not
sure what it will be this year. Next, we "circle" around a huge
potluck feast - spread on a very long table. In the past we've
sometimes done round-robin introductions there and sung a song. Then,
we form a dramatically long snakey line to fill our plates and head
off to the tables.

After most have finished eating (not counting desert), we settle into
some type of conversation. Its nature varies depending on who's
'driving.' As it gets going, some kids will stay to participate, while
others take off - not sure about if anything is planned for them this
year, as it was when more of our kids were younger.

This year, my son (25 years old) and I will co-facilitate. I was
writing up some notes when I thought of sharing of one cohousing story
here. This year, we'll combine some round-robin sharing, with
suggested topics for reflection and table-talk. The format we used for
many years was a question or two with a round or two around the whole
group. When some of us started working on the event a couple of years
ago, the planning team got feedback that some had tired of listening
to everybody else speak for a hour or more - some would always go
on-and-on. Its also been clear that not all who attend (especially
family/guests) are comfortable sharing within a big group. After this
giving of thanks, the kids all rejoin us as we return to the line for
desert (a few good folks have done the final prep work after some of
the sharing). Then, its time for multiple shifts of clean-up, with
unorganized casual conversation, games, and perhaps a shared video.

On a personal level, I'm deeply thankful that my family discovered
cohousing many years ago (in 1989 when Chuck Durrett and Katie
McCamant spoke in Seattle). I've now witnessed its impact on many who
have come into my life. For most in my community, our life together
has become very important - for some its been transformative. For
most, its brought greater joy, along with richer grieving and sorrow.
I love what it has helped create for my family - so many relations
with so many wonderful people and many opportunities to give and
receive of what matters most - life.

As I've visiting with some of you in other communities or met with
forming groups, I've heard many stories - some deeply inspiring, as
you've overcome various challenges and difficulties. For those of you
who are currently troubled by similar challenges, I encourage you to
try to embrace the creative opportunities which challenges can
bring... many have gone before you and managed to push through, some
with the support of Coho-L and the many other available resources.

I look forward to sharing in the ongoing dialogs - as people create
new communities and strengthen established ones. I especially value
the face-to-face meetings, including some time my wife and I will
spend with a forming group this Saturday. I'm so thankful to be able
to my time supporting something that I wholeheartedly embrace.

In gratitude,
--
Craig Ragland
Executive Director
Cohousing Association of the United States (Coho/US)
425-487-3550
http://www.cohousing.org
craig [at] cohousing.org

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