Cohousing-L Mailing List: . Re: Consensus, Majority Vote, "Blocks"

[R.N. Johnson (cohoranda]

Sometimes it is appropriate that someone move on, and it can be sometimes done 
while continuing good relations.  We had a member who had over committed  
financially- putting too much money into the house.  She became very anxious 
about finances and began speaking against virtually every expenditure, large 
and small.  We explored solutions, up to and including other people putting 
more money down so she could take money out to put back into savings (we are a 
tenancy in common and are all on one loan, making this possible).  She 
eventually decided to move out, not in anger, but with the realization that 
this was not right for her, and what she wanted might not be healthy for the 
group.  We still hear from her and see her now and then.
If you have a member who is frivolously blocking, or practicing consensus 
extortion "I will block X unless you change Y and Z to suit me" or who is 
consistently unable to see the rest of the community's point of view  and you  
have done your best to resolve any underlying issues and concerns, I think the 
good of the rest of the community should carry more weight in this situation.  
Ideally, you will be able to find the root of the problem, but in real life  
that does not always happen. If you are an ardent proponent of  a particular 
diet and you will not be happy until you have converted or coerced the 35 
others in your group to follow your preferred dietary path, there's a problem.  
If you need to have input into every decision, and don't have the time to 
participate in all those decisions, your will either drive your fellow members 
out of their skulls or out of the community, or you will eventually leave. 
Some people cannot imagine that others do not think as they do, or cannot see 
the possibility of someone disagreeing with them who understands their 
objections.  We should work very hard to incorporate dissenting views to come 
to full consensus, but with some people it is not possible unless you always do 
what they want.