Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: child/adult mentor program?

[Oz (oz]

IMHO, KJ has some useful points.

Songaia Cohousing has done a lot of work with mentoring and rites of
passage.

In fact, one of our deceased founders, Stan Crow, also founded the Rite of
Passage Journeys program, which continues to use our property as a home
base for their wilderness experiences.

http://riteofpassagejourneys.org/

I was on the RoP board of directors for a while, and my now-adult son was a
participant in three of their programs and on staff for one after he became
an adult.

Joey, I'm actually staying at Coho Ecovillage on the nights of Thu, Dec 5
and Fri, Dec 6 - and joining you for your common meal on Thursday. I've
communicated with a few people in your community about this, though we've
not organized anything concrete during my visit. Perhaps we should have an
(in-person) after-dinner conversation on Thu? Or, I could also do something
Friday night.

Oz Ragland
Songaia Cohousing member: 1992-2010
Life Song Commons Cohousehold founder/resident: 2010-present
Coho/US Exec. Dir, 2007-2011
Cohouseholding Project Instigator: 2011-present


On Sun, Nov 17, 2013 at 9:35 PM, KJ <pumpkin2282 [at] yahoo.com> wrote:

>
> You really need to consult with someone who is already doing this. Perhaps
> a church group with an established mentor ship program, or someone with Big
> Brothers, Big sisters.  Do you know the National Mentoring Center is
> headquartered in Portland? Here's a good "getting started" PDF.
>
>
> http://www.iyi.org/resources/mentor/pdf/mentoring%20program%20start-up%20tool%20kit.pdf
>
> They will be able to give you lots of advice like how to structure your
> time together, how much should be facilitated, where its safe to take kids
> and where it's not, how to match up mentors with kids(ie based on gender?
> Shared interests? Age difference?)  legal liability issues involved, etc.
> (to keep both kids safe from a us and adults safe from false claims of
> abuse).  How to manage expectations (so mentors/mentees & parents are on
> the same page).
>
> Also you'd need to have at least 1 administrator, so participants can come
> to them if they are having issues with their mentor/mentee, as well as to
> follow up, plan group mentor ship activities, communicate with the rest of
> the ecovillage about available mentors/mentees.  You should also seek
> regular feedback from both parties, to improve your mentorships,
> communication, and entire program.  Some advice in conflict resolution
> would be good - you already have this experience within the larger
> cohousing village, but within the smaller group you'd need more specific
> instruction, some of which is age-appropriate.
>
> PSUhad a youth mentoring conference last summer, speaker videos here:
>
> http://www.pdx.edu/youth-mentoring/innovative-and-non-traditional-models-of-youth-mentoring
>
> Some mentoring orgs will help you get started- some times even for free if
> you're a NFP.
>
> Here is a great PDF with some FAQs regarding youth mentorships:
>
> https://www.nationalserviceresources.gov/files/legacy/filemanager/download/mentoring/mentoring_faqs.pdf
>
> Www.mentoring.org has some good resources
>
> Best of luck!
>
> Kj
>
>
>
>
>
> Sent from my iPad
>
> On Nov 17, 2013, at 10:11 PM, Joey Kimdon <jkimdon [at] gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >
> > Many kids are interested in the vague idea. It remains to be seen how
> > reality will pan out though. :-)
> >
> >
> >
> > On Sun, Nov 17, 2013 at 2:43 PM, Diana Carroll <dianaecarroll [at] gmail.com
> >wrote:
> >
> >> Have the kids expressed interest in this?
> >>
> >>
> >> On Sat, Nov 16, 2013 at 6:59 PM, Joey Kimdon <jkimdon [at] gmail.com> 
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>>
> >>> Hi all,
> >>>
> >>> Several of us in our community would like to establish a child/adult
> >>> mentor
> >>> program, and we were wondering if any other communities would be
> willing
> >>> to
> >>> share their experiences.
> >>>
> >>> One of our main goals is to deepen the connections between children and
> >>> adults who are not their parents. We're hoping these special
> connections
> >>> will give the kids many people they're comfortable talking to as they
> are
> >>> going through life's challenges, as well as enrich both parties' lives
> as
> >>> they share their special talents, interests, and personalities. We also
> >>> see
> >>> it as a way to keep the kids connected to and interested in the
> community
> >>> as they grow older.
> >>>
> >>> We already have many rich child/adult interactions, informal
> activities,
> >>> special friendships, and a kids club where adults can share activities
> >>> with
> >>> the kids. However, we're looking to have a more formal program in
> order to
> >>> include more of the less-outgoing people, to encourage more one-on-one
> >>> time, to help people find ways to fit this type of connection into
> their
> >>> schedules, and to give an almost family/grandparent-type of commitment
> >>> that
> >>> the kids (and adults) can count on over many many years.
> >>>
> >>> Our current thoughts are to have some rotating one-on-one mentorships
> >>> (maybe 6 months long?) starting as soon as the kids are interested and
> >>> continuing until adulthood, fostering many different relationships.
> Then
> >>> in
> >>> addition, as part of a coming-of-age ritual (around 12 yrs old), having
> >>> the
> >>> child and an adult find each other for an enduring (non-rotating),
> deeper
> >>> mentorship. The shorter mentorships could help the children and adults
> >>> figure out who they want for their long mentor and could continue even
> >>> during the longer mentorship.
> >>>
> >>> Does anyone have any experiences they'd like to share that could help
> us
> >>> as
> >>> we are developing this idea? Or can you point me to some archived
> posts? I
> >>> did a quick search in the archives, but didn't find the right search
> terms
> >>> to come up with anything.
> >>>
> >>> Thanks,
> >>> Joey
> >>> (from CoHo Ecovillage in Corvallis, OR)
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