Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: What is the Etiquette?

[Eris Weaver (eris]

Ann, I'm totally in sync with your etiquette list. About the only thing I
would add is a reminder to those who request a tour or overnight
accommodation that THEY ARE ASKING US FOR A FAVOR, they are not booking a
hotel. We're volunteering our time and we have a right to say "no," FOR ANY
REASON AT ALL. We don't OWE you.

(I recently had an experience with an enthusiastic person who continued to
call or email me every two days for about two weeks requesting a multi-day
stay; she never gave me her last name, any information about her other than
"I really want to talk to you and visit your community" and continued to be
vague even after I left return messages asking for more information. You can
imagine how enthusiastic I was about meeting this person...she came across
as high-maintenance and demanding and I had NO interest in helping her out
AT ALL as I was feeling harassed! And I am a pretty friendly and
accommodating giver of tours! She finally backed off after I gave her very
clear feedback that she was NOT making it easy for me to WANT to meet her!)

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Eris Weaver, Graphic Facilitator & Group Process Consultant
Founding member, FrogSong cohousing in Cotati, CA
eris [at] erisweaver.info . 707-338-8589 . http://www.erisweaver.info

"On days when you have no ideas at all, the best thing you can do is start
doodling." Charles M. Schulz