Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: What is the Etiquette?

[Diane (dianeclaire]

I was just going to write what Eris said, but she beat me to it so here's
my ditto.  Thanks, Ann for writing the original -- now whre can we post it
so that tourists read and understand?
Diane

On Sun, Aug 2, 2015 at 9:42 PM, Ann Zabaldo <zabaldo [at] earthlink.net> wrote:

>
> We have a backup person. He is on vacation for the next week.
>
> It's still would've required a call, if he wasn't home I have to leave a
> message, I still have to follow up on it etc. etc.
>
> I think my point is trying to make arrangements to see a community A few
> hours before you leaving town doesn't really work. At least not for me.
> Where is making arrangements in advance can accomplish everything.
>
> Ann z
> Takoma Village
> Washington DC
>
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> > On Aug 2, 2015, at 7:23 PM, Kay Wilson <kwilsonfisk [at] comcast.net> wrote:
> >
> >
> > A couple of thoughts.......
> >
> > --No one person should be the only person responsible to see that [fill
> in the blank] gets done. If you had a back-up person, you could make one
> call to that person, who could then handle the issue.
> >
> > --Contact information for visits (websites, brochures, etc.) could
> include a minimum of "at least X days prior to the date you wish to visit."
> >
> > At Meadow Wood we are dealing with a similar issue. The head of our
> Grounds Team has resigned for health reasons, and the person who has shared
> the leadership of that team has just moved away for health reasons. As of
> this time, despite several requests for someone to take over leadership, no
> one has stepped up - probably in part because the two people that just
> stepped down were doing such an excellent job that everyone else feels like
> the bar is set too high.
> >
> > Kay Wilson
> > Meadow Wood Cohousing
> > www.mwcondo.com
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Cohousing-L [mailto:cohousing-l-bounces+kwilsonfisk=
> comcast.net [at] cohousing.org] On Behalf Of Ann Zabaldo
> > Sent: Sunday, August 02, 2015 12:56 PM
> > To: Cohousing-L
> > Subject: [C-L]_ What is the Etiquette?
> >
> >
> > It’s Sunday afternoon.
> >
> > I’ve just gotten word that a close friend has lost her husband of 60+
> years.  I’m staring at this sympathy card trying to figure out what words I
> could possibly write that might mean anything at all at this time.  I’m
> fixated by the blank space on the inside of the card.
> >
> > My phone rings.  There is a lovely cheery voice from a cohouser visiting
> from out of state w/ a request to tour our community this afternoon.  I
> hesitate but then agree to squire them around Takoma Village.  A few
> minutes later I call them back and decline after explaining about the
> death.  I just can’t do it.
> >
> > I feel awful — here are these folks brimming w/ enthusiasm for seeing
> our community.  Normally I jump at the chance to show off TVC because I’m
> so proud of it.   People just want a chance to step foot in the community
> and look around a bit.  I know how that is!  In my book … too much
> cohousing is never enough!  I’m for it!
> >
> > But not this afternoon.
> >
> > This has me wondering:  is there etiquette for visiting a community?
> >
> > One thing I know I dislike is people just dropping by and wandering
> around until they run into someone to give them a tour.  While cohousers
> are a friendly bunch I think we forget that these communities are our homes.
> >
> > Here are some guidelines (not rules!) I’m thinking about for requesting
> a visit when I’m involved:
> >
> > 1.    If you’re visiting from out of town and think you might like a
> tour … give the me a few DAYS — not hours — to identify someone to give you
> a tour.
> > 3.    If you want to stay in the guest room … I need at least 4 weeks
> notice.  Our guest rooms are heavily used.
> > 4.    If you leave a message do leave your full name and contact info.
> It helps to be able to return a call.
> > 5.    Try to remember that each community has a life of its own.  The
> day and hour that’s convenient for you to visit may find me and/or the
> community otherwise engaged:  celebrating an important event, in the middle
> of a serious work day or memorializing someone’s passing.
> > 6.    And on the other side of the coin … one of the frustrating things
> I find about trying to make an appointment in advance is NEVER getting a
> call back or an answer to an email request.  The phone number or email
> address on your website goes to that great black communication
> wastebasket.  If you don’t want people to visit don’t put contact info on
> your website.
> >
> > You might ask:  why didn’t you look for someone else to squire them
> around today?  That’s a good idea except I would still have to drop what
> I’m doing to accommodate someone else’s schedule.  I’d either have to make
> phone calls or write an email and then follow up to make sure the
> connection was made.
> >
> > What do you think? Am I being over the top?  How do you handle visits
> and tours?  (BTW we have four HUGE formal tours a year — 30-40 people per
> tour.  Plus always happy to accommodate people w/ advance notice!)
> >
> > PS — I finally did fill in the blank space on that sympathy card before
> I wrote this email.   Now I think I’ll go back to pondering Life, The
> Universe, Death and Everything.   Maybe I’ll ask Siri …
> >
> > Best --
> >
> > Ann Zabaldo
> > Takoma Village Cohousing
> > Washington, DC
> > Principal, Cohousing Collaborative, LLC
> > Falls Church, VA
> > 703.688.2646
> >
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-- 
Diane Margolis
175 Richdale Av.
Cambridge, MA 02140
617 354 1349